Vienna Teng - Passage/史逸欣 - 通道

source: musicboxforever   2014年11月23日

I died in a car crash two days ago
Was unrecognizable
When they pulled me from the gears
No one's fault, no one's bottle
No one's teenage pride or throttle
Our innocence is all the worse for fears
The other walked away alive
Arms wrapped now around his wife

My lover sits, the silent eye
In a hurricane of warmth and word
My mother trembles with the sobs
Whose absence seems absurd
My sister shouts to let her see
Through the cloud of crowd surrounding me
My colleagues call for silence in my name

I died in a car crash three months ago
They burned me until I glowed
And crumbled to a fine gray sand
Now I am nothing, everywhere
Several breaths of strangers' air
And all thoughts ever written in my hand
They plant my tree out in the yard
It grows but takes the winter hard

My lover holds a knife to wrist
Says tomorrow comes, hold on a while
My mother tosses in the sheets
And dreams me holding my own child
My sister plays our homemade tapes
Laughs as tears run down her face
My office door now wears a different name

I died in a car crash four years ago
My tree drinks melted snow
Just eight feet tall a pale and fragile thing
Bee stings beaches bright vacations
Sunburnt high-school graduations
A sparrow healing from a broken wing
This year a glimpse of second chances
Tiny apples on my tree's branches

My lover hears the open wind
And crawls blinking into the sun
My mother leafs through photographs
And thinks "yes she was a lovely one"
My sister can't decide her truth
Asks aloud what I might do
In a conference hall my brief efforts engraved

I died in a car crash
A lifetime ago it seems
Been a decade or two or three
They've just release a new design
Bars and bags front and behind
My fate now an impossibility
Safely packaged hurtling down
The highway hardly make a sound

My lover very much alive
Arms wrapped now around his wife

我兩天前在一場車禍中過世
面目全非 當他們把我從車裏拉出來
沒人有過失 沒人醉酒
沒有小夥子般逞強好勝 或是猛踩油門
所有的恐怖遭遇都是無知的
有些從中活著走出來
雙手緊抱著他的妻子

我的愛人坐著 那冷靜的雙眼
如那颶風般溫暖的慰問
我母親顫抖的哭泣
對我的離去感到不可思議
我姐姐呐喊著想看是什麼一回事
從那如雲一般的人群中
我的同事以我為名而靜默

我三個月前在一場車禍中過世
那火焰把握燃成閃亮的灰燼
又把我瓦解成灰色的沙
現在起我什麼都不是 無論在什麼地方
呼吸著幾個陌生的空氣
和那些曾經寫在我手心上的心思
他們把一顆以我為名的樹種在院子裏
它成長著但是冬天裏卻非常吃力

我的愛人拿著小刀放在手腕
說請堅持一下 明天會到來
我母親依然把床單鋪好
夢想如孩子般的把我緊抱
我姐姐看著我們拍的錄像帶
笑聲與淚水從臉孔飄過
而我以前的辦公室門口掛在其他人的姓名

我四年前在一場車禍中過世
以我為名的樹飲著那融化的雪
有八尺高但卻蒼白和脆弱
蜂螫 海灘 和亮麗的渡假天
太陽曬傷 高中畢業
小麻雀翅膀上的傷口慢慢癒合
今年有第二個機會
看到小蘋果在我的枝頭上出現

我的愛人聽到風聲吹過
試圖爬上去抓起那閃爍的陽光
我母親拍下每一片葉子
然後想“是的　她是我的摯愛”
我姐姐不能決定哪個是真相
大聲問我說我會怎麼做
一個小小的聚會廳裏　簡短的把我銘記

我在一場車禍中過世
那好像是一輩子前的事了
十年　還是二十　三十年
他們剛剛設計出來
堅固的鐵和安全氣囊　前面和後面
但是我的命運如今似乎難以完成
安全包裝飛馳而下
高速公里上幾乎不發出任何聲響

我的愛人依然的活著
現在他擁抱著他現在的妻子